353: How To Talk To Your Stylist And Love Your Hair

Ever leave the salon thinking, “It’s fine,” when you were hoping for “I love it”? We dig into the real reason great hair can feel like a gamble and share five clear steps that help you and your stylist finally speak the same language so your results match your life.

Joico Glass Blowout Spray

How to use Joico Glass Blowout Spray YouTube Video

5 C's Consultation Podcast Episode

If you’re ready for hair that fits your routine, reflects your taste, and actually lasts past the salon door, this conversation is your blueprint. Subscribe for more hair confidence, share this with a friend who needs a better consult, and leave a review to tell us the one phrase you’ll use at your next appointment. When you know better, you do better...your hair will prove it.

Good Hair Day Emergency Kit
If your hair hasn’t been cooperating lately, I’ve got you...grab your free Good Hair Day Emergency Kit 

www.goodhairenergy.com

________________________________

Make sure to subscribe to our YouTube Channel as well!

Visit my Amazon Store for all my favorite products!

Instagram:  danisekeilitz

Shop my favorite Eufora Products.

Transcript

Why Good Hair Feels Like A Gamble

Feelings Vs Technique: The Gap

Tip 1: Lead With Lifestyle

Real-Life Styling And Product Talk

Tip 2: Use Photos With Details

What You Don’t Like Matters Too

Consultations And The Five C’s

Tip 4: Speak In Feeling Words

Tip 5: Confirm The Game Plan

Why Clear Consults Change Everything

Tools, Boxes, And Extra Support

Encouragement For Clients And Stylists

SPEAKER_00 0:01

All right, welcome back to All About Hair. Today we're talking about something I see all the time behind the chair. And it breaks my heart a little bit. Clients sit down, they're excited, they leave feeling eh, not terrible, but just not in love with their hair. And most of the time, it's not because the stylist doesn't know what they're doing, and it's not because the client has bad hair. It's usually a lack of communication. There's a communication gap. So today I want to walk you through five simple ways you can communicate so your hair outcome is better when you leave the salon. Because great hair should never feel like a gamble. Welcome to All About Hair with Denise. This is where we talk about hair, confidence, and why a good hair day can seriously change your whole mood. It's like hanging out and chatting about life, feeling good, and loving your hair. No pressure, no perfection. So grab your coffee, settle in, and let's talk about loving your hair and yourself a little more. Okay, here's the honest truth. Stylists are trained in technique, and clients live in their feelings. Wouldn't you agree? Before we begin, I have to give a shout out to one of my listeners, Betsy. She reached out to me and she said, Hey, is there any way that you could give some advice on how to talk to my stylist better? I just don't know what I'm saying when I sit down in the chair. I don't know the lingo. I don't know how to talk to them because you know, stylists have their own vocabulary, and clients don't really know what they're supposed to say. Balayage means one thing to a stylist and one thing to the client. So don't worry about it, okay? I'm going to give you five different ways that you might not have considered that you can communicate better with your stylists. Okay, here we go. Remember, stylists think in layers, they think in shape, they think in placement, tone, depth. But you as a client don't talk like that. You say, I want it softer, I want it brighter, I want it easier, I just want to feel prettier. That's where the terms don't add up, okay? Neither side is wrong. But if we don't slow down and meet in the middle, that's when disappointment really happens. Let's fix that, starting today. Tip number one: start with your lifestyle. I think this is so, so important. Before you talk about color, before you talk about length, before you talk about trends, talk about your lifestyle. I ask this all the time. How often do you style your hair? How often do you wash your hair? Do you wear your hair up in a ponytail all the time? Do you air dry? Do you blow dry? Do you use a round brush? Do you use a diffuser? Do you love to use hot tools or would you rather not at all? Those things matter more than any picture that you bring in because you could bring in the most beautiful picture in the world. But if it takes you 45 minutes to style it to get to that picture, you're not going to like it, even if your hair looks like that picture when you walk out of the salon. Every haircut looks amazing in an Instagram post. But if it takes too long to style, or if you do not have the talent or the know-how to style it, and you're a wash and go kind of person, your stylist needs to know that right out of the gate. This is what you should try saying. I usually spend about 10 minutes on my hair, and I want something that still looks good when I don't try very hard. Trust me, your stylist will get it. Okay, they'll know. And this is also why I love sending my subscribers easy, approachable products in the good hair energy box. Things that support real life hair, not just perfect Instagram hair. And I have to tell you, this last month, I think I hit it out of the park with the Joico product that I sent in the box. I've had three people reach out to me. They're not even subscribers to my box yet, but I used it on their hair when they were sitting in my chair just to try it out on different types of hair, and they loved it. If you want more information on that product, just let me know in the show notes. I answer every single message myself. So I'll give you the link on how to get it. All right, tip number two: make sure you're bringing in inspiration photos, but explain what you like about the photo. Okay. Photos are great, but just don't hand your stylist and say, I want this. They need to know what you like about the photo. Is it the brightness of the color? Is it the softness around the face? Is it the layering around the face? Is it the length? Is it the volume? Is it just the vibe of the photo? They need to know that because two people could look at the same photo and see two different things. I can guarantee this because when somebody shows me a blonde photo, okay, and if you've ever looked at somebody with blonde hair or any hair color, but there's brightness and lightness and depth to that. So I need to cover up the person's face, usually, because that actually draws you to a picture too, the person's face. We just want to look like the person in the photo, right? But cover up the face, look at just the hair, and then say, hey, I like the brightness around the face. I like how bright it is around the face, or I like how it looks soft and blended, not stripey. Actually, bring in pictures you don't like too, because that's just as important. Or maybe you like the length, but you don't want layers in it. So maybe you like how it hits like the collarbone. Photos will give you clues of what you like, but you have to tell your stylist exactly what you like about the picture. And sometimes that's not clear to us of what we like about the picture. And sometimes we really do have to ask, what do I like about this? Is it how they set their hair with curlers? You don't know. Maybe it's the shine, maybe it's that they have natural curl, and you would really like to have natural curl to your hair, and you don't have that. You really have to dissect the pictures that you are bringing in. As a stylist, and I'm talking to my stylist friends out there, you need to know how to ask the right questions too. Don't just say, Oh, you like that picture? Okay, we could do that. No, no, no, no, no. That, no, no. As the professional stylist, you need to know that your clients are asking for your professional opinion. So you need to break down that photo too. You don't just rely on your client knowing exactly what to do. Because they don't. And they shouldn't have to. But I'm just giving both sides of this conversation. Here's a huge one. If you've ever left your appointment unhappy, tell your stylist what you were unhappy with. Was it too short? Was it too dark? Was it too warm? Meaning brassy or red. That's what a lot of people say. Is it too flat? I know I leave the salon all the time. My hair is like a flat, flat thing. You know, you guys know me. I like volume. And a lot of people struggle with the volume button. Maybe you left your appointment and your hair was too layered or too thin looking. Maybe you have fine hair and somebody layered it and it just looked like a shag, and you don't like that look. You're not being negative, you're being helpful. Okay, here's what you should say. In the past, my hair felt too thin when I had a lot of layers, so I'd like to avoid that. That will help tremendously. This is also why education matters so much to me. Ask anybody who sits in my chair. I spend more time in the communication, the consultation, than I probably do with the haircut, because it is imperative that you are talking the same language. New stylists, if I can give you any advice ever, is to learn how to do a good consultation. I do have an old podcast that I did, and I I've shared it a few times. It's the five C's of a consultation. If you're a stylist, you need that. You need to go back in there. I I'll find the uh episode number and I'll leave it in the show notes. But it's called the five C's of consultation. You need to talk about the cut, the cost, the color, the consistency. I forgot the five, but there is five. Convenience. Sorry. Tip number four: use feeling words. You don't need to know the technical term. Not everybody knows the technical term. In fact, a lot of people don't even like to talk with technical terms, even as a stylist. You could say a bob, and it can mean one thing to one person and another thing to another person. So don't say bob, don't say lob, don't say pixie, don't say but you don't need to say, I want long layers with internal graduation and a money piece. Nobody says that. Nobody I know says that. Feeling words are perfect, okay? You just need to say soft or full or natural or lived in or polished, effortless, bold, bright. This is how you need to tell your stylist what you want your hair to look like. It's how you want your hair to feel and how you want to feel wearing it. So try saying this: I want my hair to feel fuller and look effortless. Girl, wouldn't we all? Right? I want it brighter, but still natural. I want to feel put together without trying too hard. See how I'm saying you're not describing your hairstyle? These are how you want to feel wearing your hair. Tip number five. You want to confirm what it is that your stylist is getting ready to do. Before they cut anything, before a foil goes in your hair, you want to pause and confirm and just simply say, just so I understand, we're keeping the length here, we're adding brightness around my face, and you know, to keep everything really well blended. You want to understand what's happening. You're not questioning your stylist's ability, it's just creating clarity. And you know what? Good stylists love this because it protects everyone and it also reminds them because I guarantee you that stylist is inside their brain thinking, okay, what it what's my game plan? What am I? Okay, she's a level, you know, five, and I need to go back. Okay, and they're thinking because they have a lot on their mind. Maybe they're thinking, oh, she's got wavy hair, but she wants to wear it straight, and I gotta figure out so you need to clarify what it is, what your expectations are. So what changes when you communicate like this? First of all, the consultations feel way calmer, okay, because I know it's stressful. It takes a lot of courage to go into a especially a new salon and have someone you've just met take scissors to your hair. I don't know. I I used to always think, oh my gosh, how do people just walk into the salon? People walked in all the time. Anyone have time for a haircut? Who does that? I couldn't do that. I mean that well, it says a lot about the reputation of the salon when people start doing that. However, that takes a lot of courage just to even walk in the door. So another thing that changes when you communicate clearly is stylists feel clearer in their head. They have a game plan. Because there is nothing worse than being a stylist and you have no clue what direction you're going. The worst thing you could possibly say is, oh, do whatever you want. No, no, no. No. Mm-mm. No. Don't do that. Don't do that to them. And yes, I've heard it from people. Well, you're the professional. I would like you to give your opinion of what you would do to my hair. That's cool. I would love to give my opinion of what I would change on your hair. Doesn't mean that that's for you, because if you're not going to take the time to learn how to do something new, or if you don't see yourself the same way I see you, I'm not going to make you wear a style just because I think it looks right on you. It might take a few haircuts. It might take a few color recommendations. It might take a while before you build up the trust with your stylist to say, you know what? Maybe I should do that. Or you might or you might not ever get there. Maybe you really like how your hair is, and you just want somebody to maintain your hair because you like your hair. It's okay. Don't let your stylist convince you otherwise if you're enjoying what you already have. Another thing that changes when you actually have a consultation and communicate clearly is the client feels heard. I think that is the number one thing to remember. As a stylist, when you're standing behind your chair, you need to get in front of your client, look them eyeball to eyeball, so you can make sure you're having a conversation. The worst thing you could do is talk through the mirror. That's not normal conversation. The only people who really do that are stylists. So take a moment, step in front of your client or turn the chair around, but actually the client needs to be looking in the mirror. Step in front of your client, look at them, see what they're saying. They're gonna trust you more. And if actually, better yet, try to get down eyeball to eyeball level. So if you have a little stool and you could sit down and have the conversation, because you know what? When you're standing up and they're sitting in the chair, uh there's a power dynamic going on there, and you want your client to be able to trust you and to open up to you. And when you're standing up, I just feel like the communication isn't as clear. But if you can get eyeball to eye eyeball, that'll go a long way. Okay, something else that changes when you do this. Results feel intentional, and the hair actually becomes this collaboration of creativity between the client and the stylist instead of a guessing game. Because there has been times when I first started my career and sprinkled in there as well, when I didn't have a good game plan. It feels terrible. So, as a stylist, if you do not know exactly what the final result needs to be looking like, you need to pause, you need to slow down, and you need to talk more. This consultation, this communication is where the magic happens. And if you want extra support between your salon visits, there's tools, there's products, little reminders that help you take better care of your hair and feel good about doing it. That's exactly why you need to sign up for my good hair energy box. It's designed for you. And it's just like having a stylist in your corner every month, it's delivered every month. The box ships on the 10th of every month. Go over, I'll leave the link in the show notes. You know I will. Go over and check it out. See if this is something you might want. I'm also thinking about, because you guys know me, I wear t-shirts in all my videos. I love a good t-shirt and I love a good saying on a t-shirt. I'm actually thinking about just having an another subscription that are just t-shirts. A separate t-shirt every month, shipping out. If you're like me, you like t-shirts, you can put a t-shirt with shorts, blue jeans, slacks, blazers. Let me know. Let me know if you think a t-shirt subscription would be for you. It would be about$20 a month, a new t-shirt every month, and it just kind of gives you a community to be in and having something to look forward to. I want to thank Betsy for this great conversation starter because uh there are a lot of people who have felt disappointed leaving the salon after an appointment. It shouldn't be that way, right? So please hear me. If you're one of these people, you're not difficult, but you are not bad at explaining things, you just haven't been taught how to communicate in a way that works inside the salon. And if you're a stylist and you're hearing this, and heck, if you're not a stylist but you're a client, tell your stylist to listen to this, right? Because they need to know how to communicate with you, right? And they need to slow down and they just need to build that confidence that the communication is a two-way street. Thank you, Betsy. And remember, when you know better, you do better. Thanks for hanging out with me today. If this episode made you smile or taught you something new, go ahead and hit subscribe and treat yourself to my good hair energy box for some happy male and fun hair favorites each month. And remember, when you know better, you do better.