All About Hair...and So Much More.
Welcome to All About Hair...and So Much More. Empowering Women Over 50 to Live with Confidence, Creativity, and Grace.
This podcast is dedicated to women navigating this incredible phase of life with strength, beauty, and grace. We'll dive into a wide range of topics—from hair and skincare tips, health concerns, and hormones, to the challenges of empty nest syndrome, navigating divorce, finding new exercise routines, and cultivating adult friendships. It's all about embracing the journey and finding your power in this next chapter.
As someone who has spent decades immersed in the world of hair, I’ve seen firsthand how much it influences how we feel about ourselves. But as I look around, I realize there’s so much more we, as women over 50, are facing—issues we all share, challenges that deserve to be discussed openly and with heart. That’s why I’m expanding my focus to include those real-life experiences that often go unspoken. This is a space for you, for us, to explore how we can live our best lives, no matter what challenges may come our way. Together, we’ll create a community of support, creativity, and empowerment for every woman in this revolutionary age.
All About Hair...and So Much More.
301: The Power of Adult Friendships
Have you ever wondered how friendships can be a lifeline as life evolves? We dive into the powerful impact social connections have on our well-being, especially as we transition through different life stages. Whether you're navigating marriage, parenthood, or middle age, maintaining these bonds is crucial for a longer, healthier, and happier life. With insights from Mel Robbins and stories of personal experiences, we highlight practical steps to nurture meaningful relationships, even when life gets chaotic. Prioritizing friendships can transform your journey, offering much-needed support and joy.
Building a strong social circle isn't just a goal; it's a necessity. I share actionable strategies to foster meaningful connections, from reaching out to old friends to stepping out of comfort zones in new communities. Discover the tools available, like our downloadable workbook, to guide you on this path. I invite you to contribute your ideas for future episodes and join our thriving community by subscribing to our YouTube channel. Let's continue learning, spreading positivity, and supporting each other as we embrace life after 50 with open hearts.
Get your FREE PDF for navigating Adult Friendships here.
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Website: www.danisekeilitz.com
YouTube: All About Hair
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Welcome to All About Hair and so much more. I'm your host, denise Kylitz, and I'm so excited to have you here. If you love hair, beauty and all the ways to feel amazing inside and out, you're in the right place. But here's the twist we're not just talking hair anymore. We'll dive into everything Life After 50 brings Health, hormones, relationships, fitness and so much more. This is a space for women who are embracing change, building confidence and living with creativity all about hair and so much more. I really want to thank you guys for joining me as we pivot to cause. We are going to discuss everything about hair, but also everything that life changes when we get over the age of 50, because you know, I'm 57 and a lot of my friends are in their fifties and we have a lot to say and we're going through a lot of different things. I don't know about you, but if you can just maintain your sense of humor about things, I think it gets you a long way.
Speaker 1:You know I started this podcast, my goodness, like four years ago, and the reason why I started it really was when I owned my salons. I was going to use it as a recruiting resource for new stylists, because it started as the little things for stylists, that's what it was called. Started as the little things for stylists, that's what it was called, and we talked about all the little things it takes to become successful in the hairstyling world. Well, after I sold my salons, I still kind of wanted to maintain some kind of conversation. So I thought, you know, with all my experience of owning a salon, my next thing would be maybe teaching how to own a salon. So I changed it to salon ownership, made easy, and, yes, I had in my mind that I was going to create these wonderful courses and, to tell you the truth, I've created four courses. Yes, I put in all the work, all the hours, all the research actually created the courses, recorded them, have the PDF workbooks and I never put them out there, do you?
Speaker 1:Sad, I know, but do you know why? Is because I just found that I didn't have the passion for it. Um, I wasn't in the industry anymore. I wasn't out there, you know, in the trenches, if you will, and it's been a while, and I kind of was losing my passion for it. And so I was thinking to myself do I really want to continue down this path, you down this path of salon ownership, teaching people, even even teaching hairstylists. I don't not that there's anything wrong with that, because, trust me, I love hair and I love talking about hair. Anybody who knows me knows I'm very, very passionate about it. However, I also like a lot of other things, and so that's why I've changed my podcast once more, and really I think this this time I I I'm on the right road.
Speaker 1:I have probably a list of over at least 50 ideas for podcasts and videos. If you guys have any ideas that you would like to hear, um, please reach out to me. You can either respond to this um podcast by leaving me a text, you can shoot me an email, you can go to my website, you can go to my Instagram, however you want. I would love to get your feedback. I'd love to to hear what you would like to hear about, because we're going to talk about everything. Uh, you know, hormones, health, exercise, relationships, children, pets, vitamins, hair loss, no sleep, that dreaded tummy that just keeps getting bigger and bigger for some reason. You know all the things. So, if you have something that you'd really like to talk about or, heck, if you'd like to be on the show, maybe you've experienced something and you would like to have a conversation with me, please do reach out. I would love to have you as a guest on my show. So thank you so much for hanging in there with me through all these changes. I'm really glad that you're still here. If you happen to know anybody who you think would like this podcast any woman over the age of 50 probably would like this conversation Please share the podcast with them and let them know that there is a community out there for them.
Speaker 1:Okay, so in today's episode, we're going to dive into the importance of friendships. You know, I don't know about you, but as an adult, don't you feel like, um, you, if you have a lot of friends, consider yourself super, super lucky? But I know, as we go through life, that our relationships change with with our friends. Okay, let's, let's think about why that would be. When we're in, you know, high school and college, we're surrounded by people going through the same life experiences that we're going through, and they're in like within arms length away, right, so we're almost forced to have friends or some kind of social network, right? And then, after college, or, if you didn't go to college, when you get back, get into the workplace, our. We start getting busy and our friends turn more into acquaintances, because they're coworkers and you might be friends with them, might go out for a drink, whatever, which is wonderful.
Speaker 1:I've had friends like that. However, they don't tend to last more than so. Say, if you switch jobs or switch to your career, would they still be your friends? I don't know. Sometimes, sometimes not Sometimes we try to hang on to them, but for some situational experience, maybe that friendship wasn't strong enough to hang on. I know myself I've had one, maybe two friendships that have sustained my since I was in my twenties, and that is I'm very, very lucky, but it takes work. But I do know that with these few friends that I could pick up the phone anytime and we could just start a conversation, like we just talked last week, and it might've been a few months. So I guess what I'm just saying is friendships they go through cycles. Okay, so get back to that. In our twenties we're in a high school, we're in college, friends are everywhere. Then what happens? We get married, right, we become, we make friends with maybe our, our significant other's friends. Okay, so our friendship group is changing a smidgen and then maybe we have children and, wow, our lives get really busy and maybe our friendships change again.
Speaker 1:Maybe you belong to a mom's group or because think about it I remember my mom's group when I'm, when I first had my son. It was a oh my gosh. It was like a lifesaver, because you're going through something that is extremely wonderful, right A child. However, it can also be well. First it's very tiring because no sleep, but it can also be very lonely because maybe your spouse, they go on to work, right, but you're at home with a little baby and, yes, you might just love the smell and the feedings and all that, but you're also exhausted. You're not getting sleep. You might not have taken a shower. You look around the house and maybe it's a mess. We've all been there. Come on, and what is your life support? Maybe it's that mom's group. They're going through the same exact thing and you guys can laugh about it together. Okay, those were some of the most special bonds that I had was with my mom's group, because we were all going through the dirty diapers and the disrespect and the lonely days and the long days and the how many days has it been since you've washed your hair or even taken a shower kind of conversations, right, or when, when did you go to the grocery store and tuck the baggers head off? And when you can laugh about it with your mom's group.
Speaker 1:However, then when your kids get older and they start school, your life changes again and maybe your friendships change, shift again, because you don't have that special bond. Nothing wrong with that. I mean, friendships come and go and they serve you. What? What is that saying? Um, uh, some people come into your life for a reason and some people come into your life for a season, and you know we all have friends like that. So let's think about that now.
Speaker 1:So, now that if you're like me and you're over 50, right, maybe you're not working outside the house anymore what do you do then? How do you find friends? How do you get out of your house? How do you put yourself out there? You know, how do you have the courage? Because, I don't know, sometimes some days, it's a lot easier to just to stay in your house, right, stay in your sweats, but let me tell you you can't do that. You've got to put in a little bit of effort. You know and it was talking about blue zones and what they eat and stuff, but one of the things that they really said was super supertoeing on the hardwood floor. Sorry about that, but people who have friendships or a social circle actually live longer. I know it's sad. Think about all those people who and maybe you, are lonely and you would love it if somebody would knock on your door and be your friend. So let's talk about how vital these social connections are to our mental well-being and our physical well-being, because it really does link you to a longer and healthier life. Let me ask you a question Do you make building friendships a priority in your life?
Speaker 1:I have to confess that there's been many, many times that I haven't. If you want to build a strong friendship, you need to take steps to prioritize your relationships. For example, make sure you pencil in a monthly meetup that's non-negotiable with your friend. Yes, make it a priority. Make your friendship a priority. Any relationship takes effort. Doesn't your marriage take effort? Doesn't your relationship even with your siblings or your your parents take effort? Yeah, it takes effort.
Speaker 1:So, friendships you have to carve out some time for them, even when life gets busy. There's been many times that, um, my husband and I have been invited to go, maybe to dinner with someone, or just meet up with somebody and at the time you're just like, oh my gosh, I just don't feel like getting ready to go. Or it's the end of you know, it's Friday night and you just ended a week and you're exhausted and you're just like, oh, the last thing I feel like doing is getting in the car, going to dinner. But you know what? You never regret it. You really don't. Once you get there and you start talking, you know, and it's like you know that's really nice, that's nice to hook up with your friends, to see what's going on, to have conversations with your friends, to see what's going on, to have conversations, to start conversations. It's, it's good.
Speaker 1:I'm not saying you have to have a ton of friends. In fact, I think you should be choosy with who are your friends, because you want your friends, you want those people around you, you want them to encourage you, be honest with you, laugh with you and even cry with you. You don't really want a circle of friends that and I'm saying friends in quotes that are just fair weather. You know those, those are acquaintances. Yes, there's going to be times that I don't know you'll have people like that. But as we get older, we get pretty picky because we don't take it anymore right, we don't have time for that. So time's precious and so you need to nurture a tighter actually a smaller circle of friends. Find a few people you just really connect with and really cherish them. Make time to grow your friendships. We already discussed that.
Speaker 1:It does take effort, but it also takes time. Don't put it on the back burner. Don't put your friendship on the back burner and go oh yeah, we'll get around to it. Oh, I just don't have time this week. No, no, no, no. Put them in your schedule schedule coffee schedule, lunch schedule, going to a movie. But if you're like me, if it's not on your schedule, it's not going to get done. So schedule those, those dates with your friends so you can still be connected. That's a great, great tip.
Speaker 1:And remember to always be the kind of friend you want to have. Friendship's a two-way street and sometimes that means you have to extend yourself first and be the kind of friend you want to have. If you want somebody to be there at 3am because your house is on fire, be that type of friend for them. Now you also want to be very open and honest with your friends and you know sometimes being vulnerable. It could be the most challenging part of building an adult friendship, because our past may dictate how we participate in new relationships. So just let yourself be open, be honest with friends. It's refreshing and it can lead to deeper, more profound relationships that last a long time. You also want to be a safe place for your friend. You remember that one friend from high school that you could share everything with, knowing that they would never tell a soul. Aim to be that friend.
Speaker 1:Be known as the one they can come to with their deepest thoughts and hurts, the one that will keep things to themselves instead of passing on gossip or judging them. Have you ever told somebody a story in confidence and then you hear that they have been talking behind your back? How do you feel about that? That they've told other people? How does that make you feel? Yeah, don't do that to your friends. If somebody tells you something in confidence, do not Tell anybody. That's what friendship's about. Another tip is become their positive voice If they're going through challenges maybe they have needy children or demanding spouses be the person your friend can turn to when they just need a little bit of positivity or encouragement and strength.
Speaker 1:Maybe be their laughter when they can't find any. Sometimes my sister I have a twin sister and you guys know that or you know it now and we, we maybe see each other twice a year. I know that's sad, but we live in different States, but we probably probably talk to each other every single day, if not every day, at least every other day. And there's some days that you know, one of us or or both of us are just kind of like blah, you know, just a ball humbug. But so we need to find laughter, we need to find encouragement, just to get on with the day. You know we've all had days like that and you know what we do. This is kind of funny. We get on Pinterest and we look up funny quotes or snarky quotes or quotes, I don't know. Go to Pinterest, look up funny quotes or snarky quotes and see if that doesn't make you laugh out loud. I mean, my goodness, we were just dying laughing the other day. It was great. And so then you end your conversation on a positive note and then you can go on with your day and on that note.
Speaker 1:Sometimes you do need to be uplifting for one another, but you also need to have meaningful conversations. So when you meet up with your friend, like maybe for coffee or something encourage them to I don't know, ask them some tough questions and then engage in really listening to them. Maybe as you're listening you can take mental notes of what they like or dislike and that could be used later, like when you're wanting to get them a gift or something. If you are just an active listener and you're actually listening to your friends, it just really does strengthen those emotional bonds and it really shows that you care about them. Have you ever heard that saying or advice? I guess it would be that if you are going like to a networking thing or a group party or something and you want to be the most like, most remembered person from the party, don't talk about yourself. Ask questions. Let other people talk about themselves, because people like to talk about themselves.
Speaker 1:If you're trying to strengthen your relationships, here's some practical action steps that you can take this week. Maybe jot these down and make it a challenge for yourself. Okay, so this week. Step one carve out some time to reconnect with a friend you haven't seen in a while. Just reach out to them. Suggest you guys go to coffee or lunch and just reconnect. You might find a reconnection. You might find a special friend or not, and the reason why I say or not is because we all change. I'm not the same person I was five years ago. I'm not. You might not be either, but guess what? Maybe your friend that you're reaching out to would like to reach out to you, and they just haven't reached out. Another thing you can do explore new ways to engage with your friends. So maybe, instead of lunch, you meet for breakfast before work, or maybe you walk your dogs together, or maybe you pack a sack lunch and you meet up at their workplace. I mean, it doesn't have to be cocktails at happy hour. You know we're not all into that either. Another step you should try to take this week is strengthen your existing friendships by identifying one or two people you'd like to build a deeper relationship with and then take the initiative to go to coffee or lunch to get to know them better.
Speaker 1:Like I, have a neighbor that every time we see each other, heck yeah. We say hi, hi, neighbor, how are you? And we keep saying, girl, we got to go do something, we got to go have coffee. I've lived in this house for two years and I still have not invited her for coffee. I mean, invited her over to my house to have coffee, and that's just my house. She lives next door and I keep thinking I'm going to, why don't, why don't I do that? I'm not that busy, you know. I think it's because we in our minds think we are that busy, or I don't know. I don't know. I do know that the older we get my husband and I both say that the one thing we've both are guilty of this We've raised our kids. They're adults, but we've both put our career first before our friendships, which is sad. And as we were getting older, we'd really like to develop better friendships and a social circle, and so we've really been trying to step out of our comfort zone, get out of that box, get out of watching Netflix every night and actually reach out to people that we'd like to know better. So maybe you can do that too. So I'm just going to close this with a few thoughts.
Speaker 1:Making friends and maintaining and nourishing adult friendships is all part of living a fulfilling life. Especially as we age, the last thing you want is to I don't know retire. Maybe your spouse dies, maybe, I don't know, you wake up one day and you find yourself all alone and that you don't have friends. You don't want that. You don't want that. That's not a fun life to live. So why you're still capable, pick up the phone and call that neighbor, walk over and knock on the neighbor's door Heck, I was listening to Mel Robbins podcast and if you haven't listened to her, she's amazing.
Speaker 1:So that's another podcast. You could look up Mel Robbins podcast. Amazing, so that's another podcast. You could look up Mel Robbins podcast. She had recently moved from Boston to Vermont and same thing happened to her. You know, she was in her fifties and she moved to a new town, didn't know a single soul and was just kind of told a story of how she was just kind of moping around a house. Woe is me. Woe is me Because we do that. We do that to ourselves. And her daughters actually had to. They were out walking and they actually said well, have you actually met your neighbors? Have you actually knocked on their doors and invited them to do anything? No, and so they made her go up to her neighbor's house and knock on the door, and they're really good friends ever since. So who knows where that'll take you.
Speaker 1:I also encourage you to take those steps for building those connections. I hope you wrote down those steps that we were talking about to reconnect with friends you haven't seen in a while reaching out, think about new ways to engage with your friends and also strengthen your existing friendships. Engage with your friends and also strengthen your existing friendships. And I also want to just thank you for being here and tuning in and hopefully you're enjoying this new format where we can expand our conversations to just more than just hair, and I think this is a really good start for our conversation and adult friendships. Please, if you haven't make sure you are subscribing to our podcast, share this podcast with anybody over 50 who you think this conversation would be of some value in their life.
Speaker 1:Like I said, if you have any suggestions for any topic that you would like to hear, trust me, I have a ton of them, but who knows, there might be something out there. Or if you would like to be on the podcast, reach out, I am here. If you'd like a workbook on what we discussed today, step-by-step, on how to develop adult friendships, make sure you click on the link in the show notes and head over to my website and grab your copy of the PDF that follows along with this podcast, and I just really, really thank you for listening today and hope you go out and make it a great day and always remember, when you know better, you do better. Thanks for tuning in to All About Hair and so much more. If you enjoyed today's episode, be sure to subscribe to our YouTube channel so you never miss a new one, and if you think someone else would love it too, share the episode. Let's keep spreading the love and learning together. See you next time.
